I find your take on VPNs just as misleading as the advertising claims you are complaining about. You make unfounded judgmental calls about people who do use VPNs (with nothing to back it up) and then somehow completely missed the primary use case for using VPNs. Public unencrypted Wi-Fi where the ISP is the network you are connected to. Your assertion that HTTPS is sufficient and that information leaks over DNS or UDP are inconsequential is simply misinformed. Much useful information can be garnered from such data. On top of that SSL/TLS have had at multiple points in history shown to have severe holes, anyone who is cautious knows that there is every reason to anticipate that there may be one in TLS 1.3. On top of that just connecting to a site that uses HTTPS doesn't even mean it uses TLS1.3. HTTPS is a fall back protocol it will negotiate back to the most secure protocol the client an server can agree on. VPNs offer you the ability to move the exit/entry point for your network traffic beyond the reach of a potential attacker. You also confuse tracking methodologies. Browser tracking is a completely different thing entirely. If you want to not be tracked there, use one of the many browsers that do not allow tracking.... then also use a VPN because without the two you will still be tracked. You're also way off on the price of VPNs they are not $30/mo you can get a month of VPN service for less than the price of a cup of coffee.

Yes a VPN might be overkill for some and not needed in many cases but in this day when connecting to unknown wireless networks in hotels or restaurants, everyone should be using them. Even a little old lady.