I don’t know maybe Jane’s father was racist maybe he wasn’t but the incident you describe is nearly identical in every way to something that happened to me when I was dating a girl when i was about the same age (right down to the alcohol and parents coming home early) The mother in my case gave me the same kind of speech her father gave you. In my case everyone involved was white so it had nothing to do with race. Because of this I’m not sure if what you describe in your incident is racist or just an overly protective father. Framing his actions as racist could just as easily be a projection of your own fears, prejudice and assumptions onto an incident that left you with a slew of negative feelings. If you choose to see every negative interaction with a white person as racist that’s on you but that doesn’t make them racist. In general, white people are assholes. They as assholes and jerks to anyone and everyone including other white people. So just because some white person is being an ass toward you that doesn’t make their actions racist. It just means they are a jerk.