First I don’t think this is a male/female thing at all. This is a hyper competitive person and sports thing. Stop trying to twist it into something it’s not. This is just the result of (personally perceived) high stakes, and adrenaline. People get amped up when important things are on the line, when you combine that with adrenaline they say and do stupid things. If there’s any difference between men and women in this regard, men know this and mostly just brush it off.

Second, don’t compare yelling at a coach to disrespecting a ref. These are entirely two different things, and require entirely two different responses. Any coach who has been in professional or college sports for a long time knows how to deal with an irate player male or female. They are gonna expect it and they know the players are just blowing off steam. There’s nothing personal about it and there’s no reason to make it personal. Besides, in some places and times it can be a sign of respect particularly between men. On the other hand, yelling at a ref should get you kicked out of the game or disqualified I don’t care who you are.