Ella this is a tremendously good article. I’m an American and was in Lviv when the invasion started. Your story here echos the opposite side of the sentiment shared with me by several of my friends and complete strangers as I evacuated to Poland. The fear and confusion of the first days and not understanding why Russia would do this have slowly changed over the last few months. Where once Ukrainians viewed Russians as siblings they see them now as the enemy or worse. The amount of vitriol is real and growing each day. When I heard my very mild mannered girlfriend wish for “every Russian pig” in Ukraine to not just die but die horrible painful deaths I could feel her pain even from the other side of the world. But I must excuse these things as justified because when missiles explode just meters from your office while you are just trying to live your life it’s very understandable.
And that is just building more resentment that Ukrainians have toward Russians. Russian people still go to work and Russian children still go to school. Russians don’t hide in basements and cellars for hours each day. Russians leave Russia because “life is hard” Ukrainians leave Ukraine because the want to live. While I don’t think any Ukrainian would ever blame you or any individual normal Russian citizen, I do think you are right. No matter what happens in the future it will be a long long time before Ukrainians will forgive Russia or the Russian people as a whole.
Ukrainians tossed out their corrupt authoritarian at a cost and with great bravery. Even Belarusians at least tried to do the same. Ukrainians will never understand and never forgive Russians for sitting on their hands and doing nothing while their government commits crimes in the name of the Russian people.