And here is where your argument falls apart because these three qualities (particularly curiosity) are not something that you can learn. You either are born with natural curiosity or you’re not and if you’re not, you are going to hate programming so much and then you are going to suck at it.

Your perspective is warped by all the tech bros who just got into it because it was a way to leverage into startups and high salaries.

The very fact that you cite someone crying at a difficult problem and all the other BS you talk about tells me you’ve never once actually met someone who really was a natural programmer. Never once in my 30+ career have I ever felt close to that way. Any problem is just a challenge to solve and not just not a problem to cry about, it is exciting. No, I’ve never felt imposter syndrome because only imposters feel that.

If you want to identify a real programmer ask them if they would be programming if they made half or a third or a quarter of what they get paid now. If they say yes those are the “natural” programmers. They don’t need to be paid to program they would do it even if they weren’t paid.